A little bit of background on who I am. As I said I am a 42 year old mother of three. I have a very loving and understanding boyfriend whom I have been in a relationship with for 5+ years. What started this journey for me in wanting to create this blog, and eventually write a book, was having my father pass away suddenly in 2019. There was so much left unsaid that I truly regret it still to this day.
I was born in Flemington New Jersey. My Birth Name was Vivian. My parents, William and Cindy, already had two little girls. Cindy had my eldest sister Michelle when she was 16 (she is a half sister), then her and William had my sister Rachael (birth name Sonia) when she was 18. I came along when she was 20, followed by my little brother, Billy ,11 months later when she was 21. William was 24 when I was born. I can imagine it wasn’t easy have 4 little children at this age. They had their demons of drugs and alcohol during this time. Two of my siblings had learning delays due to Cindy’s use of drugs and alcohol while pregnant. This was a very rough part of my life that I still have some very vivid memories of that will be discussed in the blog.
After some very traumatic events, and being sent to live with our maternal grandmother, it became very clear she didn’t want it to be a permanent situation. So eventually us kids got separated. Michelle was to remain there with our grandmother (known as the Witch), Billy went to live with our paternal grandparents (which is where William lived as well), and Rachael and I (at the time named Sonia and Vivian) went to live with an Uncle and Aunt who we knew nothing about. They lived in a little town called Frenchtown New Jersey. This was in January of 1985. I was 5 years old and Rachael was 7. The household consisted of my Dad, Mom (Tom and Mabel), and their biological son, Lyle (who was 16). We lived with them for 3 years as foster children and then in May of 1988 we were legally adopted. There will be a lot posted in the blog about this time of my life.
I moved out when I was 18 years old. Moved in with my then boyfriend and his parents. Very religious household, with rules, as there should be. I was a devoted Baptist church parishioner. Very dedicated to my religion. At the time I felt like its all I really had. I married that same boyfriend when I was 22 and he was 21. It was a short lived marriage. We separated before our one year anniversary. After our separation I started dating Jerimiah, who is the father of my children. We were together for 7 years. It ended in disaster and in all honesty should have ended way sooner than it did. He was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder, borderline schizophrenic, narcissist, borderline multiple personality disorder. He also became an alcoholic during our marriage.